Sunday, November 14, 2021

For Heather - Another Year Without You

A Matter So Small 

I never saw her, my daughter, my Heather
I felt her prenatal kicks; I patted my belly
Named her Little Harry Eagleclaw
She liked my rocking chair, I think 
Kicking when I would pause to stop
She died, bones crushed by the weight of her own body fluids
A mystery, they said, so sad, they said, you'll have another, they said.
I nodded, the always acquiescent essence of a good girl
Not willing to bother anyone, for a matter so small.

Until one morning, when the sun came up a little slanted
Illuminating the white hot fierceness of loss 
I moaned and wailed and beat my fists upon the walls 
Demanding retribution, demanding an accounting
Demanding God to show himself, to strike me dead 
And when I was done, God being silent 
I lay spent, alive, yet not, pieces of my soul released and gone forever 
Buried with my perfect monster child, my daughter, my baby, my Heather.

Monday, October 4, 2021


Terry

Terry

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