Wordless Wednesday - Christmas Massacre

 

Of Mothers and Daughters and Dinner Parties — Part II Redux

 

Sometimes, when you throw a question out into the universe, you get a response.  In January of 2008, I asked a series of questions for the Carnival of Genealogy.  Though my paternal grandmother, Anna, was born in the United States, all her ancestors were born in the Stolp district of Pomerania.   At the time, because I didn’t (and still don’t) speak German, finding the information seemed head bangingly impossible.   So, it’s fifteen years later, and guess what?  Some of my questions now have answers.  I am reposting that January 2008 entry along with my found answers.   

Of Mothers and Daughters and Dinner Parties — Part II

The 41st edition of the Carnival of Genealogy asks the question: If you could have dinner with four of your ancestors who would they be and why?

 

When my great-grandmother, Emma Gleffe Schröder, first set sail for the United States in 1906, she knew that she would probably never see her father, brother and sister again. It's not known if Emma's mother, Pauline Gleffe, was alive at the time of Emma's departure, but in the German letters that were saved, Pauline is not mentioned.

 

Emma arrived at Ellis Island with her husband, Leo, and their two sons, Wilhelm (Willy) and Max, on April 1, 1906. Speaking no English and being sponsored by Leo's brother-in-law, Karl Kollat, Emma and Leo settled on the outskirts of Clyde, Ohio. There they found other German-speaking families, and just as important to Emma, a Lutheran Church that she could walk to each week, to listen to the German service.

 

For my second dinner party, I would choose Emma and her mother, Pauline, as the last two ancestors to share a meal with me. Though I would love to see the land where Emma grew up and where Pauline lived her life, I know exactly when and where this dinner party would take place.

 

There are very few things my grandmother told me about her mother, Emma. But the one thing she did say was that her mother was a good cook. My dad has also told me the same thing of the grandmother that he called, “his buddy.” So I am inviting myself to Sunday dinner at the Schröder house in Clyde, and Emma and her mother are doing the cooking.

 

Once they get used to the idea of being together again, I can imagine the two of them clucking and speaking in German, with my great-grandmother translating for me. I would be madly scribbling down recipes and notes and helping with whatever menial chores the two women would assign me.

 

I WOULD ASK PAULINE (with Emma translating)

What date were you born?

2 Oct 1849 at Klein Gansen, Kr. Stolp, Pommern, Prussia  (Full Name: Pauline Albertine Mathilde Gleffe) [i]

What are the names of your parents?

Friedrich Wilhelm Gleffe and Johanne Helene Wilhelmine Bujack[ii][iii][iv]

What date were they born?

Friedrich Wilhelm Gleffe was born 20 June 1815 in Klein Gansen, Kr. Stolp, Pommern, Prussia[v]

Johanne Helene Wilhelmine (she went by Wilhelmine) was born 22 Sept 1819, Klein Gansen, Kr. Stolp, Pommern, Prussia[vi]

What is your husband's full name and date of birth?

Wilhelm Gottlieb Gliffe   DOB: 17 January 1852 Goschen, Kr. Stolp, Pommern, Prussia[vii]

What are the names of his parents?

Friedrich Gliffe (sometimes Gleffe) and Henriette Bastubbe[viii]

When and where were you married?

Do you remember your grandparents?

What were there names?

Gottfried Friedrich Gleffe (he went by Friedrich) and Katharina Anna Zoschke[ix]

Christian Friedrich Bujack and Dorothea Luise Jahnke[x]

Tell me a story about your grandparents.

Tell me a story about Emma when she was a little girl.

 

I WOULD ASK EMMA

Who were your paternal grandparents?

Friedrich Gliffe and Henriette Bastubbe[xi]

What do you remember of them?

What do you miss about your homeland?

Who was Albert Tuschy and how are the Tuschys related to the Schröder family?

Albert Tuschy was the brother-in-law to Emma’s husband, Leo Schröder (Schrader in the U.S.) He was married to Leo’s sister Bertha Eva Adeline.[xii]

Albert acted as informant in the death of his mother-in-law, Caroline Wilhelmine Quetschke Schröder (10 April 1895, Gaffert, Kr. Stolp, Pommern, Germany)[xiii]

Albert also acted as informant in the death of his father-in-law, Wilhelm Heinrich Schröder (4 March 1917, Budow, Kr. Stolp, Pommern, Germany.)[xiv]

Tell me about your in-laws, Wilhelm and Karoline Quetschke Schröder.

What was the trip to America like?

What is a favorite memory you have of your mother?

What is a favorite memory you have of your father?

Tell me a story about your daughter Anna as a child.

What is your recipe for your Christmas log roll?

 

I would give them some private time to talk, to cry and to laugh. Then later, sometime in the afternoon, Emma's daughter Anna would stop and drop off her 7-year-old son. For I have chosen to have my dinner party the exact summer that my father stayed with his grandparents during the week.

 

Pauline and I would fade into the shadows, as Emma, all smiles would go outside to greet her daughter and grandson. We would stand there, the two of us, peeking out the screen door, listening to the casual tones of conversation. Pauline would be watching intently the granddaughter and great-grandson she had never seen, and I would be watching just as intently a father and grandmother I have known so well. We would look up, she and I, our eyes meeting, and both smile in a way that would need no translation

---

[i] Evangelische Kirche Budow Taufen (Evangelical Chuch of Budow, Baptisms), 1849 No. 121

[ii] Ibid

[iii] Evangelische Kirche Budow Taufen, for Augustine Philippine Franziska Maria, 1852 No. 20

[iv] Ahnenpaß (Ancestral Passport) of Margarete Gleffe, from the Research of Jörg Glewwe, Nov. 2020

[v]   Ibid

[vi]  Ibid

[vii] Evangelische Kirche Budow Taufen, 1852 No. 5

[viii] Ibid

[ix]  Ahnenpaß of Margarete Gleffe, from the Research of Jörg Glewwe, Nov. 2020

[x]   Ibid

[xi]  Evangelische Kirche Budow Taufen, 1852 No. 5

[xii] Standesamt Budow Heiraten (Marriage Record Civil Registry for Budow) , 1887 No. 3

[xiii] Standesamt Budow Tote (Death Record Civil Registry for Budow), 1895 No. 16

[xiv] Standesamt Budow Tote, 1917 No. 7

©30 Jan 2008 & revised 1 Dec 2022, Desktop Genealogist Unplugged, Teresa L. Snyder 

Over the River and Through the Woods - Some Hoy Thanksgivings

The picture below was taken 8 days before Thanksgiving 1916.  It is the wedding picture of my maternal grandparents, Frank Eugene Hoy and Katheryne Cecile Lynch. The date was November 22, 1916.  I asked my grandmother once where she and grandpa met.  She had a twinkle in her eye when she told me it was at a Halloween Party, he was very handsome, and that was all she would say. 

My grandparents would go on to have nine children (who would give them 29 grandchildren), but the two of them were such opposites that their divorce seems inevitable, Grandpa was a quiet gentle man, and Katie was, well, Katie. My grandmother was a natural storyteller, who never let anything as inconvenient as facts get in the way of a good story.  As a child she seemed bigger than life, with her arms and hands constantly in motion making whatever point she intended.  Honestly, she was a little terrifying to a quiet little girl who listened intently to her tales. 

The next picture was taken on Thanksgiving in 1948 or 1949.  My mother remembers they were all angry with their youngest brother, Delbert, because he refused to have his picture taken.  

The two younger boys in the front row are my Uncle Donnie and the defiant Uncle Delbert (with his hand up before his face.) In the back, from left to right are my mother, my Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Johnny, Aunt Flossie, Uncle Dale, Grandpa, Uncle Bob and Aunt Florence.  Aunt Florence inherited the storytelling gene, only her stories were always funny, and self deprecating.  My mother tells me that I remind her of her sister, Florence which I have always considered a huge compliment. (Unless, of course, she is referring to the fact that Aunt Florence and I both snort when we laugh.) 

The next three pictures are from Thanksgiving 1951. It's easy to date because in  the picture of the "Outlaws" - that is actually what they called themselves - you can see a very pregnant Aunt Marion, who would give birth to my cousin in January 1952. 

The first picture is that of my mom and her siblings. The back row is Aunt Florence, Uncle Johnny, Aunt Flossie, Aunt Evelyn, and Uncle Dale.  The front row is Uncle Bob, Uncle Donnie, Uncle Delbert (this time making faces) and my momma. 

The next picture is of the "Outlaws."  The ladies in front are my Aunt Marge and my Aunt Marion.

In the back is my Dad, Uncle Boo, Uncle Alvin and to be honest, I'm not sure who the person on the end is.  While my dad was overseas when I was born, my mom and I lived with my Uncle Boo and Aunt Ev and my cousins, Arlene and Linda. My Uncle Boo was a contractor and he built the first house that my parents owned. .  

I'm not going to attempt to name all the cousins, but I will tell you that another fifteen grandchildren had yet to be born. (Including, yours truly.)  Grandma Hoy is in the back row, next to her eldest grandchild, my cousin Janet.  My cousin Janet was a natural to babysit for me when I was little.  Later, when she got married, she asked me to be one of her hostesses.  I was nervous, but honored. 

I will be honest with you.  I was an okay looking kid when I was little, but from about the end of second grade until almost the end of ninth grade, I was, to put it honestly, a hot mess.  My nose had grown too quickly for my face, My teeth had come in too large for my mouth and I would later add braces to complete the hideous look.  It was so bad that I overheard my paternal grandmother saying to my mom, "Terry isn't as pretty as Marcia."  My mother, so loyal, told her that both of her girls were pretty.  

I was devastated, but I decided, Fine. If  I couldn't be the pretty one, I would be the smart one. Which was kind of its own joke because my petite little sister had a photographic memory, and learned to read at the age of four.  The school wanted her to skip a grade, but because she was such a tiny thing my parents were a hard no on that idea.  

Nonetheless, I threw myself into studying and bolstered by the fact that my second toe was longer than my big toe, and being assured by my dad that this was a  sign that I was indeed, very intelligent, I ended up in an advanced math class, was later tapped for National Honor Society, and wore golden honor cords for my high school graduation. So all in all, it worked out. 

At the time of my cousin's wedding, my nose and my face were now on the same page, the braces had come off, I refused any more short, short hair cuts, and I was able to smile again. So that night I was on the way to feeling better about my looks, but what sealed the deal was my dad.  He came over to where I was cutting the wedding cake, had me put the knife down, and asked me  to dance.  It was a polka. I'd never danced to one before, and I haven't danced to once since,  but my dad made me feel so graceful and beautiful. That was really the night I transformed from the ugly duckling into, if not a swan, at least swan like.

So this Thanksgiving, I am thinking about my childhood.  How my parents were always there for me, supporting me, encouraging me, loving me and I am thankful for that blessing.  

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Enjoy the day. 

© 24 Nov 2022, Desktop Genealogist Unplugged, Teresa L. Snyder 

Then, with eyes that saw not . . .

Sometimes, I think, it is good to be reminded that as all encompassing as a personal loss is, there are those who travel their own path of loss.  So, be as kind as humanly possible, but be as fierce as necessary to protect those people and beliefs you cherish.  

Heather, sweet little one, you are in my thoughts.

The First Snowfall

By James Russell Lowell

The snow had begun in the gloaming,

   And busily all the night

Had been heaping field and highway

   With a silence deep and white.

 

Every pine and fir and hemlock

   Wore ermine too dear for an earl,

And the poorest twig on the elm-tree

   Was ridged inch deep with pearl.

 

From sheds new-roofed with Carrara

   Came Chanticleer's muffled crow,

The stiff rails were softened to swan's-down,

   And still fluttered down the snow.

 

I stood and watched by the window

   The noiseless work of the sky,

And the sudden flurries of snow-birds,

   Like brown leaves whirling by.

 

I thought of a mound in sweet Auburn

   Where a little headstone stood;

How the flakes were folding it gently,

   As did robins the babes in the wood.

 

Up spoke our own little Mabel,

   Saying, "Father, who makes it snow?"

And I told of the good All-father

   Who cares for us here below.

 

Again I looked at the snow-fall,

   And thought of the leaden sky

That arched o'er our first great sorrow,

   When that mound was heaped so high.

 

I remembered the gradual patience

   That fell from that cloud-like snow,

Flake by flake, healing and hiding

   The scar of our deep-plunged woe.

 

And again to the child I whispered,

   "The snow that husheth all,

Darling, the merciful Father

   Alone can make it fall!"

 

Then, with eyes that saw not, I kissed her;

   And she, kissing back, could not know

That my kiss was given to her sister,

   Folded close under deepening snow.

 

Happy Anniversary, Little Sis. I miss you.

 

My sister had many sparkling qualities. She had a photographic memory, a quick mind, and an ability to know what she wanted in life. And what my sister wanted, more than anything, was to be a wife and a mother, and to someday be a grandmother. Forty-eight years ago today, she started that journey when she married the love of her life. Happy Anniversary, little sis.  I miss you.

© 27 Oct 2022, Desktop Genealogist Unplugged, Teresa L. Snyder 

Wordless Wednesday - Moment of Zen

© 26 Oct 2022, Desktop Genealogist Unplugged, Teresa L. Snyder 

 

October is National Family History Month

Before you can celebrate Family History Month shouldn’t you at least have a working definition of the term, family?  Some define family as those individuals who live or have lived together in one dwelling. Some define family by a minimum number of shared centimorgans. And some use the heart to set the parameters for who is and isn’t family.

Karen Ferry in Make Me Believe wrote, “Family isn’t whose blood you carry … It’s who you love and who loves you back.”

Fifteen years ago, I struggled with my own definition. Below is the post I wrote  My words were true then, and they are true now.

(FYI – I no longer am a Grey’s Anatomy aficionado, and the number of grandchildren has mushroomed from that mere puny four.)

In honor of Family History Month:

 

For National Family History Month — One Definition of Family

For someone who professes a great interest in family history, I have dragged my heels on mentioning the fact that October has been designated as National Family History Month. As I mentally planned this post, I intended to link you to some terrific ideas on how to celebrate the month.

Instead, I find myself squirming about writing on the subject. Preferring instead to put the laptop down, and go foraging for something to eat, or something interesting to read. Or, when I finally make myself sit with laptop in hand, I suddenly feel the need to find spoilers for “Grey's Anatomy,” or a good recipe for crock-pot Chili or googling about any errant thought that flitters through my brain — anything but writing this post.

The sticking point for me is I'm suddenly self-conscious about the definition of family. If human beings conducted their lives in a nice orderly fashion, and if we all lived to be ninety, the concept of family would be easy. But we don't. We sometimes die in automobile accidents, or get cancer, or we find the love of our life isn't, or we somehow derail a perfectly good life for liquor or drugs or lust. I'm not making judgments; I'm stating that human beings lead messy lives. And these messy lives have consequences, one of which is that the definition of family gets bruised and muddied.

 Is a favored uncle by marriage who died more than 40 years ago, still part of my family? Is the aunt of my youth, no longer married to my biological uncle still my aunt? The grade school project of making a family tree seems innocent and straight forward, unless you happen to be an adopted child, or a foster child, or child of a blended family. What tree does that child make? What genealogical chain does he follow? What family history should she celebrate?

Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, author of The Family of Adoption, talks instead of a family tree, a family orchard that includes as many trees as necessary for an individual's identity. The concept allows for both biology and reality, for inclusion of nature and nurture. In my family, it allows the man who adopted my grandfather when he was 10, and whose last name I carried until I married, to be recognized and honored in our family orchard. It allows my orchard to include four beautiful grandchildren for whom I am not grandmother by blood, but rather grandmother by heart. It is a concept I embrace.

Until Next Time — Happy Ancestral Digging!

Note: This post first published online, October 11, 2007, at Desktop Genealogist Blog at The Fremont News-Messenger.

 © 11 October 2007 & revised 20 Oct 2022, Desktop Genealogist Unplugged, Teresa L. Snyder